Weakness does not become us...

Ether 12:27 - And if men come unto me I 

will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men 

weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is 

sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; 

for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, 

then will I make weak things become strong unto them.  

In reference to my last post, I did not post for people to read in hopes they would feel sorry for me. 

I posted in hope that the women who read it will find comfort in knowing that they are NORMAL. 

How grateful I am to be a Woman in this great gospel. As unstable, emotionally charged and wishy-washy we might appear at times, we are very resilient beings, and in that power of resilience there is beauty. 

President James E. Faust spoke at the April 2000 General Conference on Womanhood. He shared...

"Femininity is not just lipstick, stylish hairdos, and trendy clothes. It is divine adornment of humanity. It finds expression in your qualities of your capacity to love, your spirituality, delicacy, radiance, sensitivity, creativity, charm, graciousness, gentleness, dignity and quiet strength." 

It is who we are. Embrace it, love it and above all appreciate it. Don't compare yourself to the so called "Perfect One" next door, because without the pedestal you have put her on, her perfection fades and realism arrives. 

We are in this together. Build each other up. In gratitude to your Savior, for his patience and understanding, accept your weaknesses and live above them the best you can, so others might find strength in knowing it can be done.

Faust added, "Be proud of your womanhood. Enhance it. Use it to serve others".

Women of our time need to be strong in spirit.  

More often than not our weaknesses try to consume us - this is a crafty way Satan works to tear us down, belittle us and slowly diminish our knowledge of self-worth. We must never forget that we are still and always will be Daughters of our Heavenly Father...and He loves us!

In reference to Ether12:27...seeing our weakness can bring us down...but to what level? Is it a level of humility or a level or self-pity? If we find humility in our daily struggles (something I often forget to do) we will find strength in them. 

I Love Pres. Monson!...what a great compassionate leader for this dispensation. He often shares his very tender, heartfelt thoughts and expressions regarding womanhood, more recently he reminded us: 

“There may be times when you feel detached—even isolated—from the Giver of every good gift. You worry that you walk alone. Fear replaces faith. When you find yourself in such circumstances, I plead with you to remember prayer.”

—President Thomas S. Monson

When life gets us down I hope we find ourselves on our knees, because from there...we will be able to find our feet again. 

You can read Pres. Monson's entire talk here:

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2013/10/we-never-walk-alone?lang=eng

As well as Pres. Faust's talk here:

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2000/04/womanhood-the-highest-place-of-honor?lang=eng

Reaching up...

I'm sharing with you one of my all-time favorite paintings of Christ, my Savior....and ask, "What do you see?"

What I see....

For a very long time I was struggling, and when asked 'what was the matter' the only words I could find, that I felt adequately expressed what I was truly feeling, was the response, "I'm drowning". 

Drowning in my own disappointment, exhaustion, helplessness, struggles, overwhelming tasks....feeling defeated, failing, useless, forgotten, and at times, very...very alone, even when surrounded by the ones that loved and supported me. 

Adjusting to life with 5 kids. Accepting the release from my calling in Young Womens to support and stand with, (once again) my amazing husband through his Bishopric calling. 

I found my self struggling to stay calm and in control through homework, diapers, dishes, laundry, baths, mealtimes, bike rides, playtime, bedtime....Sundays...ahhh Sundays were the worst, the days that I would dread. 

Knowing each Sunday morning I would wake up, dress, feed and usher my not so cheerful children to 9am sacrament meeting, Where my sweet husband would meet us, hug me, kiss me and announce with a smile that he was 'Glad we made it'. 

For more than an hour, seated on a bench...I was shuffling kids, feeding snacks, quietly reading books, complimenting coloring pages, redoing hair, quieting complaints and glancing once in awhile to the speaker at the pulpit, wondering when they were going to wrap things up...but also catching a wink and compassionate smile from my loving husband. Reading on his face, that he would be with me if he could. 

Then one Sunday....in my normal routine, as I slowly strolled the halls of my church building swaying and trying to comfort a sleepy, sobbing baby...wondering what uplifting messages were being shared in class that I was missing that might have been the key to open the door and release me from this dark mental prison. 

I gazed nonchalantly, almost carelessly at the paints that hung on the walls until my eyes fell upon this one. 

One I had passed and glanced at countless times before, and felt a rush of unexplained, yet undeniable love from my Savoir. 

I paused a bit longer. My eyes falling dead center, looking past the raging waves, the vibrant colors and two men in the center of it all....

I knew at that moment, all I needed to do, to save myself from sinking lower was to reach out. 

Christ wasn't just offering a hand to help....when Peter realized he was in trouble, he simply reached up...not finding Christs hand...but Christ finding him, taking hold of his beloved friend Peter and saving him. 

The grip of Christ's hand on Peters wrist in this painting is so powerful to me.....yet unseen by many who pass it by. 

I know my Savior lives!

I know he knows and loves me!

I love him and I am forever grateful for this beautiful reminder that we are never alone.   

The difference ONE can make...

My heart is sickened today by the senseless, calloused act of one human being.
Every where around me by word of mouth and social media sites I'm flooded with an out cry of the innocent who either fear tomorrow or wish to right the wrong by a force of action....but what we need to realize as we live and witness these devastating acts is that if one act of evil can rattle the world for a day, what can one act of kindness do?

We may be living in what appears to be a failing world - where trust in man kind is dwindling, but WE have not been sent here to fail with it.

Beauty is still found in the world, in a hug, in a tear shed for another, in unity, in hope. We are never alone.

Pray for those who morn, comfort those who are in need of comfort this day and DO NOT FEAR.

Be the strength and sure footed leader that the world so desperately needs, even if you are only the leader of your home and family. Teach your children that bad things (that we can not always control) will happen, but its how we react when they happen that will either defeat us or cause our eyes to open and witness the outpouring of millions who still care, love and fight everyday to retain that which is good.

It was only one who managed to shattered the day of countless souls, so why cant one start to repair that which has been broken by spreading hope for tomorrow and prayers for today.

My prayer is that you and your family will be blessed with the very comfort and reassurance that, today, is so desperately need.

Reflect upon the Hymn: Have I done any good...

"Have I done any good in the world today? Have I helped anyone in need? Have I cheered up the sad and made someone feel glad?...Has anyone's burden been lighter today, Have the sick and the weary been helped on their way? When they needed my help was I there?"

Doing "Good" truly is a pleasure, "a joy beyond measure"!

(In Memory and hope for the victims of the Newtown, Conn. Elementary school shooting 12/14/2012)

Desires of the heart...

So some of you have been wondering where I have been. Why I haven't been posting and if I have just been fading away, fizzling out this (what I think to be) fantastic blog. :)

Well I'm not fizzling, I'm just fighting...with myself. You know when life brings those "not so fun" life decisions, and the more you think about them, the more confused and obsessed you become over it.

That is where I have been, obsessing over my own personal issues. (pathetic...I know)

This blog has been a great place for me to vent - to recognize my weaknesses and when I assume I have found a solution to them, I enjoy sharing those solutions, in hopes that other women can relate and learn to find solutions of their own.

Now, this issue of mine...I have been battling for several months. Doing everything I can think I should to find answers, fasting, going to church, visiting the temple, praying again and again....asking Heavenly Father to please give me direction so I know what to do.

This past week has been especially tough. My awesome supportive husband (who is the only thing in this world that can keep me sanely grounded) has been out of town.

Its a lot of work to take care of four kids on your own. I've thought a lot these past two days about the poor military wives in my neighborhood and around the country who are doing this for a year. A YEAR! There is no way I could do it.

And tonight, after a long day...and a thoughtfully prepared dinner that nobody wanted to eat, I cracked around 7:15pm...right at the moment when everyone was fighting and crying.

I sent them all to bed...then had a good cry myself (must be a woman thing and I'm sure you can relate)

But after my little sob session - I concluded, maybe this is what I needed. This moment to be alone, so that I could come to terms with my personal issues and then address them and my solutions to my already waiting and listening Father in Heaven.

I realize now my life isn't going to go anywhere with me just sitting here festering over what to do.

And as I was flipping through my church books, a tiny red slip of paper fell out in my lap that simply read...

"Don't be the one thing that is standing in your way"

So tonight I poured my heart out to my Father in Heaven. Thanking him for these moments and for the chance that I actually had to be alone...so that I could address my issues and speak to him full-heartedly.


And I simply asked (not for direction) but that I would be blessed with the desires of my heart. For I recognized tonight, I had known my answer all along....I was just standing in my way.

Go after your dreams - take a chance - trust yourself ...because sometimes its only ourselves standing in our way.

Generations

With the happily anticipated birth of each of my children,  there was one thing that weighed on my mind, it began the moment we found out we were expecting, and strangely,  I still worry today - sometimes even more than I did back then. 

Its mainly on those extremely tough days when those self-judgmental thoughts creep in. Those engulfing feelings of inadequacy, when questions surface of my ability to successfully nurture and teach each child the same.

It has taken me almost 9 years to realize, that even when logic tells me the more children I have the less time I will have for each one individually; they will still be okay if I do my very best.

We have heard time and again that we are raising one of the greatest generation of children...but what we haven't been told and what we need to realize, is that in order to raise up these strong spirits in the world today, we would have to be...and are, one of the greatest generation of teachers. 

We just have to realize and believe it. 

No situation is to complicated, no battle is to challenging and no one could do a better job today, than us. 

We were meant to be their mentors, their security, their motivators, their leaders and their parents.

They were meant to be ours....and we were meant to be theirs. 

HAVE FAITH IN YOURSELF, and know that you are already exactly who you wish you could be. 

Just be glad...

While coming out of the store the other day, I noticed a mom a few paces in front of me, she had her hand wrapped around the back of her sons neck, who looked to be maybe 5-6 years old.

As we walked, I could sense the discrete struggle that was quietly ensuing.

The son, trying to resist and stubbornly pull away...and the moms tightening death grip around his neck, steering him to the car with every resistant wiggle.

I actually smiled to myself....I had been there before....to many times to count, in fact.

Ironically they were parked next to me, I tried to blend with the pavement and quietly loaded my van and watched from the corner of my eye as an exhausted mom battled her stubborn, crossed armed little boy.

She way say "We aren't doing this right now, get in the car." He would glared back, feet planted, shaking his head and retort, "No!"

They were still going back and forth as I climbed in my car and silently drove away.

I felt bad for the mom....to put it plainly, it can be embarrassing when a child acts out. We automatically assume the watchful eyes of the world are looking down, judging us.

But who are we to judge?? We need to realize that if we could ask the public audience who witnesses a melt down between parent and child...
"She who has not lost her temper with a child....let her cast the first accusation..." :)
I guarantee everyone would turn away....dont fault yourself and dont fault others.

Naturally we expect perfection from ourselves and at times from our children. I can't even track how many times I have said...or heard someone vent in frustration "I just don't know what to do anymore...."

Parenting is hard and at times very emotionally and physically draining.

During those moments of fatigue and utter frustration...(Like right at the moment when I could pop that little head clean off the shoulders of my little ones when initiating my so called "Grip of Death")....I have to catch myself and remember this thought that was recently shared with me....

If Christ were to visit your family today...who would he ask to see first??

Your Children.

We must never underestimate how very important they are to him.

I dont fault the mother...for I am just as guilty. Its a daily battle we as mothers face.

I also don't fault the child...for they are simply, only a child.

Be glad they are stubborn, for they will stand firm to the teachings you have taught them...

Be glad they seem bossy, for they know how to lead...

Be glad they are terrorizing, for they are healthy and strong...

Be glad that they tattle, for they trust in your judgement...

Be glad that they question, for they are curious, smart and seeking answers...

Be glad they are yours, be glad they are yours...

God vs. Chance

One of my favorite things said over this past conference weekend...was something Pres. M. Russell Ballard shared regarding the common question "does God exist or was it really all due to chance because of a big bang somewhere"...he said to ask yourself, "if a printing shop explodes does it yield a dictionary?"

There are too many perfect experiences in this life to credit chance.

Just yesterday we had listed one of our cars for sale on local classifieds. It had some engine trouble but must have been priced just right because we were inundate with numerous calls, texts and emails. It was to the point where I had to start compiling a list of prospective buyers.

At first I decided to offer the car on a first call basis - then just work down the list if needed. I assumed that was the only way to keep it fair.

It was working out until the 2nd person on the list, kept calling me again and again and again...asking me to just sell him the car. He had the cash and would come pick it up today....except...I didn't like the vibe I was getting from this guy, so I stood my ground and told him again and again..."If this 1st guy decides not to get it, then you can come look at it" I wasn't going to sell it out from underneath the first guy who was researching to see if he had the means to put the car back into top working order.

Finally about 2 minutes after my final "No" to this man I received a text that read,

"You are an absolute idiot! Thank you for wasting my time! You told me the first time we talked you only had one guy interested in the car...now you have 4 and all you can say to me is I'll keep you posted. I thought you had integrity...you obviously don't even know the meaning of the word! I hope you get ripped off by all the Mexicans who are calling to try and under sale you......" (Then he called me a few choice words I wont post because this is a clean blog :)

I wanted to send an explosions of text back to this guy venting what a racist JERK I thought he was...but all I sent back to him was...

"I'm not going to sell to you so stop calling me...and stop being so mean"

all he responded with was...

"You are an idiot!"

Shortly after that I found out the 1st buyer wasn't able to purchase the car....

Maybe I am idiot...but I doubt that...because I knew that after an afternoon washing back and forth with different emotions, from anger, to hurt, to sad, to laughing, to anger, to sad.....I found my knees, and I knelt and prayed....

I asked my Father in Heaven, to please help me pick one buyer, out of this growing list of phone numbers, My "going down the list" theory didn't seem so perfect anymore and I wanted to give the next chance to the most deserving person, someone who could really benefit and be blessed by it. 

After my prayer, I glanced over the list, fingered down it and my eyes fell upon one number near the middle of the page.

I called it, and the voice on the end of the line was more than trilled to hear from me. They made arrangements to come see the car that very evening.

Turns out -- they bought it!

Turns out -- they were Hispanic, and they weren't there to rip me off. :)

They were a young wonderful family, and while they waited for the truck to come and moved the car to their shop we invited them into our home where we sat and spoke with them and let the kids play. We found out the dad was recently laid of from work in California, they made their way to Utah, nearly car less with a truck that had to be jumped before they could drive away from our home, hoping for a little luck to come their way.

We felt good about our choice.

After they left our home, I thought of that mean man from earlier and words from the weekends conference talks poured over me as I recalled them teaching -- have the courage to not judge others and to recognize that we are all gods children.

This was just one of those perfect life experiences...and I know for a fact it wasn't chance.

Survivor

To say that I enjoy watching Survivor (the reality show) would be a modest way to put it....when in reality I LOVE SURVIVOR...in fact I'm waiting for the day when my kids are grown and I can try out for my chance to outwit and outlast someone.

----------------------------------------------------

I have had a couple close friends of mine lately share with me the personal struggles they are having in their lives. Their situations have been weighing heavily on my mind the past couple of days and today it dawned on me....we are all living a version of Survivor.

(Yes it could be referred to outwitting and outlasting my children but no...that's not where I'm going today....I've already outwitted, outlasted and won that battle :)

I'm talking about the everyday challenges we face when contending with The Adversary.

(outwit)
He is smart - He would have to be...he alone was allowed to offer ideas regarding the well-being of all mankind, ultimately leading to a war in heaven. He had to be educated and very convincing because he enticed a 1/3 of the host of heaven to remain with him and be angels of darkness forever (sounds pretty miserable to me....but he somehow turned many hearts of the children away from their father.)

(outlast)
He is continuous - He will never stop trying to make our lives as miserable as he feels. (Misery loves company) He knows our weaknesses, our flaws, our challenges and our sensitivities and he'll find ways to ignite them causing them to burn away at our conscience and then at our weakest point, instead of letting up and claiming defeat he will stoke the fire, a little here, a little there until it ultimately consumes us.  

-----------------------------------------------

So how do we outwit an intelligent enduring devil?? We follow Christs plan, a plan that Satan never understood and never will....often referred to as The Plan of Happiness -  in order to know the plan of happiness you have to GAIN KNOWLEDGE by simply going to church, reading the scriptures, studying instruction from the leaders of the church found in the ensign and other modern publications. Then while searching to discover who you are, you will come to realize and find joy in the simple truth that you are indeed a child of a living and true God who will forever be on your side.

How do we Outlast him?? We turn our burdens over to the lord and he will lighten our load and ease our pain. We wont outlast him if we are trying to tolerate life's torments alone. Satan has his angels on his side but we have angles from heaven ready to heed our call. Joseph Smith once said (and I'm paraphrasing) "You are in a situation in which you must make a decision -- but if you chose to live up to God's principles, how great will be your privilege, for angels cannot be restrained from being with you." (simple enough I think)

DON'T EVER STOP -- because Satan never will.

Then if we work hard, stay true and do what we can...at the end of these season (aka life)

we will be crowned the winner and earn that title of ultimate survivor!

Living proof that faster isnt better

One word....BUSY

That's what I feel like I have been lately, now I enjoy being a "busy-body" as my hubby calls it, makes me feel accomplished through my repetitious days.

But....I'm coming to realize with all my busyness that trying to move faster to accomplish more is never a good thing.
In fact I can visualize my out of control self (in life right now) morph into one of those crazy street drivers that dart in and out of traffic, passing everyone so I can "Go Faster" because I'm in a hurry. While you casually driving at the same constant-laid back speed enjoying the view and loving the moment.
In a matter of time, you catch up to the maniac (me) whose crazied-panicked efforts only gained 5 extra seconds (if that).
You enjoyed your ride...me on the other hard was a frantic out-of-control mess.

My messes (Living proof that faster isn't better).....

1. The other day I was trying to hurry home. Our stupid garage door sensor wasn't working, after 11 quick clicks and 2 misfires where the door began to open but with my impatient clicketty clacking I caused the door to stall about 4 inches off the ground. I then had to wait for the door to close down again before trying to reopen it. After finally mastering it, I hurried into the garage, dodging our lazy, slow moving, 9 year old lab who likes to nap in the center of the garage floor. I misjudged my momentum and CRACK...ran a bike handle right through my front Van Grill.....nice...but nothing a little super glue cant fix, right? :)

2. Mental note: setting an appointment to meet up in 20 minutes...when you still have to shower and dress yourself. (Never a good idea) I showered faster than ever, even shaved my legs (extra points right there...am I right ladies), jumped out, blow dried my hair went to get dressed, figured I could wiggle into my jeans without fully unzipping the zipper, but in one massive power pull I  blew the zipper completely out!! It EXPLODED, ripping the zipper teeth clean off the pants. I cant find them....they are gone...and the zipper is destroyed. one pair of nice pants...GONE. :( One semi-self confident mom...feeling fat again (never a good way to go through out the day).

3. My 3yr old went to the restroom, I figured I had time to change a dirty diaper of my 18 month old before going to help my 3 yr old. But half way through a messy diaper change he starts to call out from the bathroom, MOMMMMM I DONE! MOMMMM WHERE ARE YOU?? I'M DONNNEEEE!!!! MMOOMMM So I clean up the 18 month old - hike his pants up, set him down to play and move on to help in the bathroom. I would say life was good for about an hour....until my 18 month old walked up to me crying hysterically and completely drenched from the waist down, I pick him up and peak down the pants to see what on earth is going on with this cheap diaper...and SURPRISE...NO DIAPER! Yep...log that one away for best mom move ever!! The poor little guy.

So...learn from my mistakes ladies and SLOW THOSE PONIES DOWN because in the long run its really not worth the effort, eventually everyone else will catch up to you but they will be happy and relaxed because they took it slow and enjoy the scenery, do yourself a favor - take my advice....SLOW DOWN and enjoy the moment.

The Walk Away

After that lovely post of how special and great children are...
I would like to share with you the secret of how I carry on without eliminating my own offspring, even on our best days. 

This technique can be used (everyday if you are like me) when you find yourself being swallowed up by the kind of day when the kids are loaded with ammo from sunrise to sunset and every waking moment they are machine-gunning the daylights out of every ounce of patience you have.

A day when kids think they have taken control because poor mom is out of control  or a day when kids are pounded back into control......because mom is still out of control.

"Hi, my name is Jenn Collard and yes,

I'm an 'out of control mom'..." 

You know what I mean, those days when life gets the best of you and you just want to just crawl away into a corner, eat anything eatable that is within reach and cry.

Well let me introduce to you....THE WALK AWAY - something I have been doing for years and now that I've mastered it, I pass my teachings on to you. (LUCKY!)

When you find yourself in a moment, when you have been pushed far enough and it takes every ounce of will power you have not to completely explode. Thats when you have to take a deep breath...and simply....walk away.
Lock yourself in a closet, a bathrooms, even a bedroom, whatever you have....take a deep breath, share a sincere prayer with your Father in Heaven, take another deep breath, and if you have children on the other side of the door pounding way, take another 3 or 4,... then open the door. 

Simply stepping away from the situation, even for a minute, will allow you to regain control. Whatever it was that seemed over whelming, you can now re-approach with a clear mind that was given the chance to catch up, you will think more clearly and your reaction will be based off of thought and not unstable-in the moment-emotions.

Your tone will naturally soften and your words will be guided and inspired. I promise you that your children will be accepting to your words...they in turn, will mirror your example as they too attempt to take back control of their emotions.

In our home, when our kids start to argue we often start sing to them "let us all speak kind words to each other".
I'm sure they hate it at times....but what we as parents can't preach..the words of Hymn #232 can....

Let us oft speak kind words to each other
At home or where’er we may be...the tones will be welcome and free.
They’ll gladden the heart that’s repining,
Give courage and hope from above,
And where the dark clouds hide the shining,
Let in the bright sunlight of love....
Let us oft speak kind words to each other;
Kind words are sweet tones of the heart  

Chlidren are...

The world is full of wonderful things given to us by our Father in Heaven to find joy in. With an array of different personalities and different matter to like, we are entitled to like or dislike as we so desire. So you can like or dislike this post regarding an issue that can be controverisal to some....

I recently attended a world-wide training meeting where Elder Nelson shared that over the past 50 years the birth rate has continuously dropped throughout the world - families are growing increasingly smaller.

Ironically, I have recently taken personal note of this matter, after hearing first hand from the mouths of some married couples who expressed that kids are over rated and having them will slow the accomplishments they want to acheive in this life.

Maybe it shouldn't bother me but its a great heart ache, as a mother, to hear others talk negatively about children, having none of their own, my question to them is...how can you argue something that you have never experienced for yourself, to be intolerable or unpleasant?

Now I'm not saying you should have oodles of kids right now -- for this decission is solely between the couple and their Father in Heaven. We should never judge how many children someone chooses to have and when they begin and end their family.

However, the adversary is forever striving to attack Gods plan of happiness which is the FAMILY.

I feel he will continue to seek ways to prevent these sweet spirits from heaven from entering stable homes where they can feel the love of their savior, grow in the gospel and learn who they are and where they came from. After all - these rightous children will eventually grow to defend and fight for the truth that will ultimately consume his earthly empire.

The desire to become a rightous parent to these marvelous children of God doesn't require that you birth a baby of your own...all that it requires is that you open your home and heart to all children. With a willing heart your home can and will be filled with the sweet spirits heavenly father intended for you to guide and raise here on earth.

I took a couple days and asked men and women alike (moms & dads) to share their thoughts of what they think when they think of their own children.

It brought a smile to my face to hear them making light the idea that kids are wild-crazy and out of control at times. (which can be true :)

But it also brought pure unmistakable joy to hear a them also refer to their children as being....wonderful, smart, the most joy ever, Gods greatest blessing, fun, hilarious, joyful, free-spirited, something that made their life complete, curious, amazing, loving, loyal, unpredictable, persistent, life changing, worthwhile, tender, perfect, their whole world.

Children are a beautiful gift that we can only hope to receive in this life, Family is central to Gods plan of happiness...and that plan is perfect!

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This valentines day -- take time to show love to all the children in your life

and recognize what a glorious gift they are and what a blessing it is to have them in our lives.

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Its your choice

I have had this post sitting as a draft for over a week now.
The problem is, I know what I want to share...I'm just struggling with best way to say it so that it makes sense to someone besides myself. :)
The inspiration for this post is credited to the numerous situations that I have oddly encountered over the past couple weeks. All of them very similar in circumstance - yet, all of them yielding very different results.
It is essential that we realize this simple fact that we live in a world filled with imperfect people (including ourselves). Words will be said, actions can be misunderstood and mistakes will be made - it's just human nature.
We interact everyday - from the moment we wake up til the time we go to sleep. You can't really avoid it. It occurs in the natural-everyday socialization we have with other people, and not just acquaintances, but with families and friends as well.
There are going to be moments when words can hurt or offend us, actions can annoy or make us angry....but the question we have to ask ourselves is "how am I going to react?"...after all it is our choice.

D&C 37:4 = Let every man choose for himself...

When God gave us agency it wasn't just narrowly thought of to give us the choice of what we want to eat for breakfast, or what church serve we'll attend, or the choice to get up early and exercise or not, or if we'll actually drag the kids back into the store to pay for that one grocery item on the bottom of the cart that was over looked by the cashier.
Its bigger than that -- its an immense right and power that we have been given to be able to CHOOSE in every aspect of our lives.

It is your choice to choose how you will react to situations - you can harbor hurt and resentment...or you can choose to let it go.
Its hard - I know, choices in this life aren't meant to be easy, they are meant to test us. How will we react? What will our choice be?

I hope this post wasn't just a rambling mess of random unlinked thoughts that have been running through my mind this past week...but I hope it will help someone out there to understand that our reactions to situations are our choice.

Let go of grudges - because honestly most of the time the people we are mad at don't even have a clue of the feelings we harbor against them. And there will also be times when we will need an outlet to vent and complain (which is okay) -- your outlet can be through personal prayer.
Friends are good, but no one can match the release you will receive after a good vent session with your Father in Heaven, and in return you will feel his love through the inspiration you receive and it will bring to your life great comfort and resolve.

I'll stick with you

Many of you know that I have been working since October to get my blog published on the site of a local news paper where other bloggers gets posts published for a network of moms to read.

I had nothing to gain (I wouldn't be paid) except for the fact it would only help traffic my blog out to other moms of the world who would otherwise never hear about the M.e.a.n.e.s.t Moms Ever.

However, over the weekend I received the following contact from the them:

"We have been following your blog and we would love to have you as a blogger, but we see that many of your posts are religiously based. As we are a newspaper, we cannot have religious posts one way or the other. Are you willing to write non-religious posts for us on your blog?"

We'll....didn't even have to think twice about that one. I turned them down - I'm not about to change my blog for a little more popularity or publicity. I enjoy writing my religious posts. :)

And I hope you enjoy them as much as I enjoy sharing them...In 8.5 months this blog has grown more than I ever imagined it would and I only have YOU, my readers to thank.

I'm are here to stay and hopefully over time word will spread on its own and women all over can find a little something specifically for them on this blog dedicated to religiously enriching the lives of women!

Thank you to all my dedicated readers and to my sweet patient hubby who supports my late hour post writing and babbling 2am big dream talks about the books I will write and the blog expansion ideas I dream up, when I should be letting him sleep.

I LOVE YOU GUYS! THANK YOU!

Just a little crazy in the head

Its one thing to joke about being crazy in the head -- Its another to actually prove it to be true, and I have accomplished that very feat just today.

I went about my normal routine...trala la...typical Monday. Sent kids to school, exercised, cleaned the house from my Sunday slacking and then set an appointment in the afternoon for my 5 year old - thinking a 2 o'clock appointment should give me plenty of time to get home for the school bus.
I dropped the boys off at the neighbors and headed to town. We got out of the appointment at 2:30 - stop in to get a few groceries at the store and to gas up the car. After I had casually completed those tasks, I sent a message to my dear neighbor at 2:45 to let her know that I was on my way.

She responds back with -"Sounds great, we are doing fine. Did Arlee have somewhere to go?"


Then, in a wave of complete panic, I realize - MONDAY! Early out at School! Which meant Arlee had been home alone now for 5 minutes already, probably in a panic, wondering where in the world her mom and siblings were. 


I immediately phoned my neighbor back, explained that I was an IDIOT and forgot about early out Mondays (which are EVERY Monday - need I remind you. You think I would remember.) She said not a problem she would run down and get Arlee for me.


I hung up - said a quick prayer and then drove like a crazed mad women the 13 miles back home. I arrived at my neighbors in record time :) picked up my kids - while feeling like a complete loser, thanked her, then headed for home sweet home.


Once back at our house I asked Arlee, "Did it worry you when I wasn't home." She then proceeded to tell me her tale:

After getting off at the bus stop she snuck up to the house intending to doorbell ditch me - she said she ding-donged then ran and hid, waited...no answer, so she did it again...ding-dong, run and hide...nothing (I know, sad huh). So then she tried the door, it was locked, she knocked....still no answer. So she went through the side gate to the back patio - fought through 2 excited dogs to get to the back door, went inside, called out - searched all rooms then said she sat down and started to worry and started to cry. She then said she felt the prompting to pray -- so she did. She asked for comfort and to know what to do and she said as soon as she finished the prayer she thought - 'check the garage', she did and saw that the van was gone and realized I must be out somewhere, so she wrote a note "Dear Mom, when you get home I'm at Kaylee's" (her BFFs). But before she could walk out the door my hero neighbor had knocked and taken her safely to her house.

At the close of her story, Arlee proceeded to tell me that she had the thought yesterday that one of these days she would come home and I would be gone - out doing something...she said she knew that was the Holy Ghost preparing her yesterday for the curious events of today. She then added,"Yeah, and after I prayed today I felt comforted by remembering you were just crazy in the head." :)

I'm really grateful for a brilliant 8 year old who followed her promptings to stop and say a prayer -- And I'm grateful for the reassurance she received that her mom would never intentionally forget about her...and if it ever happens its only because her mom's crazy in the head.

Random ramblings a little too late

This is just a quick random thought....I had a phone call this afternoon from someone who had received news that wasn't quite what they had been hoping for. The more they thought about it, the more it troubled them...Of course, at the time, my well of "Me-Logic" ramblings was blocked off and I rambled on with useless nothingness that did her little good.

I was put on the spot - leaving me with a huge lack in the advise and comfort to which she was probably seeking.

So here it is...a little late, but still from my heart. If I could rewind time I wish I would have told her..."when you are faced with a decision, seek answers through prayer and always remember,

DON'T TRY TO FORCE WHAT DOESN'T FEEL RIGHT, 

YET HAVE THE COURAGE TO ACT UPON WHAT DOES.

Giving what you can

Have you ever wondered why bad things happen to good people?
The other night I almost came to the conclusion that I need to stop watching the news because there is to much stuff that's makes me sad, hearing all those stories of loss, heartache and thoughtless acts of violence that forever changes someones life.

The more I hear lately the more I have wondered - not expected - but just wondered why bad things happen to good people. I wasn't even necessarily looking for an answer but I found one. And where did I find it?? In the scriptures of course. :)

Yes, I am still plugging through the Old Testament - I'm determined to actually complete it this year :)

I started JOB the other night and read some interesting verses:

Job 5:7-17 (my condensed version)

  "Man is born unto trouble (adversity)....Seek God, and unto God commit [your] cause. Which doeth great things...marvellous things without number. [He will] set up on high those that [are] low; that those which mourn may be exalted to safety...he saveth the poor...so the poor hath hope. Behold, happy is the man whom God correcteth: therefore despise not thou the chastening of the Almighty. Know that thy tabernacle shall be in peace.

Know thou [that] it is for thy good."

Job went on to say..."The lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord."
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So no matter who we are, young - old, rich - poor, religious or not....trials are going to come our way.

We will be a witness to many in this life, friend or foe, stranger or not - we should never turn our heads or ignore or just idly stand by watching, I feel it is our duty to love and help others in their times of need.

When we see tragedies or calamities that have befallen those around us - realize that it is not just the financial assistance they need.
Sometimes they need the call of angels to come upon them. To bear them up, give them strength, reassurance and peace of mind.
That's why I'm asking you to remember to simply pray for the ones you hear are in need -- giving your thoughts and your prayers will do more for that family than any earthly assistance.

No one can provide more comfort than the presence of the comforter himself.

And a reminder to anyone out there who feels they are alone in their trail -- You are never alone. Someone is always thinking about you and praying for you.

So ask yourself, "Have I done any good in the world today?"
If you have prayed for another - your goodness will be found.

Memories of Me

I opened my "Napkins" Christmas morning while two little gitty girls gathered near with anticipation. The second the wrapping paper was off they both nearly exploded then squealed,  "Its not napkins! We tricked you, Mom!"

In place of napkins I found a delicate necklace that bore one simple charm which read "MOM".

A symbol of what I now am- and not because I'm now maturing into my 30's :-) or because I have been out of the singles-game for almost 12 years now...but its because I am fortunate enough to have 4 beautiful children in my life that call me "MOM"...and for that, I'm grateful.

It hasn't been an easy road and it definitely hasn't been filled everyday with rainbows and sunshine like I imagined before I had kids -- there have been many dark and cloudy days, but I'll take the clouds so I remember to appreciate and soak in the sun when it shines.

With the planning and pondering of our New Years Resolutions coming to full swing over the next little while -- I would like to share with you a New Resolution to consider adding to your list--

Add to your list: Improve M.O.M

(and not for the reasons you might be thinking)

We women could think of a million and two ways to "Improve our mothering techniques" this next year...but the one I hope you focus on is strictly the M.O.M portion.....

M.O.M = Memories Of Me

In the busy world we call home, we often try to match the pace of the mayhem around us, leaving little time to slow and look at the demanding, amped up life we are trying to live. 

We have our shopping lists, endless loads of laundry and dishes, dirty floors to clean, social networks and blogs to update. :-)

Some of us try to balance duties of home while working outside jobs, the list is endless...but I promise you, that the things we occupy most of our day with (which I'm just as guilty), if left alone for a time, will still be there unchanged tomorrow --  but our little ones will not. 

Every day they grow older, Every hour they absorb, Every minute they are looking for something to do....can't that something but with you??

The greatest gift you could give your family this year are the memories they will hold dear for the rest of their life....memories of their time spent with you.

So live up to that wonderful title you have been so fortunate to bare -- MOM -- and give your children the TIME to create something irreplaceable, which are those precious memories of you!

--- HAPPY 2012--- 

MAY IT BE A BRIGHT & SUNNY YEAR FOR YOU & YOUR FAMILY!

The white lies of Christmas

Auh Christmas...the time of year when little white lies run ramped in our house.

I find it amusing that we lecture to our kids about being truthful and that telling the truth the first time instead of being caught in a lie will always bring lesser punishment and heartbreak.

However as Moms, we know there will be moments when these little white lies can sometimes save our little ones from their own self-punishment and heartbreak.

For example....

The other night, after we arrived home from Christmas shopping with the kiddos, Dad and the girls gathered up the wrapping supplies and started to head up stairs to wrap the gifts they have bought for the family.
(Now it wouldn't be a night of wrapping if there wasn't a few 'I want to wrap that!' arguments from the girls.)

As they were headed up the stairs I hear Arlee begin to argue with her sister by saying "No Dewie, I get to wrap it." Then Dewie pipped in and said, "DAAAAaaad, Arlee says she's going to wrap it but I want to wrap moms Neck....." Then her little voice trailed off - realizing she had just blown the Christmas surprise.

Immediately Arlee got upset and cried out, "Thanks a lot Dewie now mom knows!" Then Dewie ran off crying in the other direction.

Thinking fast I walked upstairs, called them in together, gave them a hug and said, "Hey, accidents happen, that's why we shouldn't fight over silly things right? And its okay that I know that I'm getting Napkins for Christmas (honestly napkins was the only 'N' word I could think of at the time) I have never been given napkins and I'm really looking forward to opening them."

They both looked at me confused for a split second then instant joy returned as they realized I had heard the word NAPKIN..instead of NECKLACE :)

As the days have drawn nearer to Christmas the glorious splendor of the notorious Napkin has also grown. It has gone from being regular old napkins - to being napkins made of Christmas colors - from Christmas colored napkins, to napkins with glitter and Christmas tree stars on them -from a glittery, star covered Christmas napkin, to glittery star covered napkins with tv screens on them so we can watch TV while we eat - from a flat screened, glittery star covered Christmas napkin to a deluxe tv screened, glittery star covered napkin with a built in house alarm so if anyone breaks in during Christmas the napkin's alarm will sound.

YES-- this little white lie has snowballed into a gigantic wondrous fib...but hey...that's what we allow sometimes as moms, right?! :)

...and I'm not going to lie -- I'm looking forward to opening my "Napkins" on Christmas morning and seeing the joy on their little faces, knowing I had helped to keep their Christmas secret live in their hearts and hopefully made this season bright.

 MY WISH FOR YOU IS THAT YOUR DAYS MIGHT BE FILLED WITH THE SIMPLE JOYS AND WONDERS OF THE SEASON...AND MOST OF ALL MAY YOUR DAYS BE FILLED WITH THE COMPANY OF THOSE WHO MEAN THE MOST TO YOU!  

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!



MAMA POWER

These past couple of weeks have been extra crazy for some reason and I bet I'm not alone.

On top of the usual everyday dishes, laundry, grocery store trips, homework and more...we ladies always think its possible to add to the mix this time of year a couple holiday parties, school parties, Christmas shopping, gift making, present wrapping, treat making, Christmas card mailing....aauuuuhhhh the list goes on.

Even after the kids are in bed we find ourselves plugging away til the wee hours of the morning......I guess that could be considered Mama Power, but tonight, I believe I have discovered the true meaning of the phrase.

We have had the opportunity to have our sweet niece stay with our family this week. She has been such a joy and a blessing to have in our home.

Tonight as she and my girls were getting ready for bed I walked past their bedroom door and heard them giggling hysterically inside. I paused for a moment at the closed door with a smile to listen...curious to find out what in the world was so funny to an eight, a seven and a five year old girl.

What I discovered however, was that their conversation was a brutal verbal beat down to a once beloved friend of my dear five year old.

I listened for a bit longer to the ridiculous things they were saying about poor Dora The Explorer.

Finally, I cracked open the door, popped my head in and said, "Lets remember to say nice things....even if it is about poor Dora. "

My girls just gave me the 'OOhhh mom' look but my Niece stared back at me with a look of complete shock upon her face, She stared at me for a bit - jaw open, mind racing (I'm sure), then replied...."WOW...How good is your hearing?? You must have Mama Power like my mom!"

I was caught off guard for a second but them asked with a laugh, "What Power?"

Then she replied, "You know...Mama Power."

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Auh yes...Mama Power...
- The power to hear through doors
- The power to heal hurt with only a kiss and a hug
- The power to silence any room with 'The Look'
- The power to service selflessly with out need of recognition
- The power to teach without an education
- The power to wash your 3 year old's hands and flush a toilet with your foot all in the same motion
- The power to function on 4 hours of sleep night after night
- The power to set the mood of the home
- The power to receive parental promptings...and then the power to act on them speedily
- The power to sneak clean laundry into drawers and closets of rooms where babies are sleeping
- The power to shape a little ones life
- The power to relate to situations that occur
- The power to be a true best friend
- The power to truly listen
- The power to never die from the monotony of our everyday routine
- The power to love unconditionally
- The power to also forgive unconditionally
- The power to get emotional...over EVERYTHING and be okay with it because ITS NORMAL
- The power to be amazing in the eyes of a little one.....


And that's when it hits you....Mama Power....the power inside that you never knew you had.

Now use that power and become someones hero today.

THANK YOU FOR FOLLOWING THE POSTINGS OF A RAMBLING CRAZY PERSON WHO BELIEVES SHE CAN TAKE SOMETHING AND TURN IT INTO SOMETHING BIGGER THAN IT IS.....HEY...MAYBE THAT'S ANOTHER ONE OF MY MAMA POWERS!! SWEET!  :-)  ANYWAY...I WISH THE BEST TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY THIS HOLIDAY SEASON.

Merry Christmas!!!

Suffering from bad mom syndrome

There really is no way to escape it, once in while (sometimes more often than we like) we fall ill to the 'Bad Mom Syndrome'. No one is immune.
Its that moment when we feel low and the sense of failure and insecurity creep in. Our weaknesses consume our judgemental minds and our strengths diminish with each passing blow of criticism we cast upon ourselves.

 I recently read a heartbreaking blog post of a friend who lost her baby.

It is usually during times of great sorrow, misfortune and disappointment when we start to question who we are as mother. Are we doing a good enough job? Are we even worthy to care for these tender spirits we are entrusted with from heaven? Does Heavenly Father not trust us? Have we failed him? Have our limits been met or maybe we aren't capable and someone else could do better?

God doesn't punish us in this way -- if anything, he is just as heart broken watching us suffer, unable to see the bigger picture and only seeing the vision of earthly dreams escape us.

The dream of a family does not end here -- for Families are Eternal.

Before Gods children can enter in to immortality,there must be mortality...there isn't a set time limit or number of years that these beautiful children are required to be here. Heavenly Father has a plan for them....and you have provide a way for this spiritual being to accomplish what they couldn't on their own. To gain a body and return to the embrace of a loving Father in Heaven who can now set in motion their eternal progression.

I believe angels surround and the heavens open to pour out greater blessings upon those who have lost a child. For they are stronger than I am...and Heavenly Father knows them....and trusts them....and he knew they could handle these mortal life challenges best.

We shouldn't compare our situations to someone else's, because all we will see is their assumed greatness and our numerous exaggerated faults. The only person you can compare yourself, and your life to....is you. Ask yourself, "Am I better than I was yesterday? And am I doing all I can to strengthen, Me." Be a bit better than you were the day before and strive to improve your knowledge and testimony just a bit more than yesterday and you will find peace, joy and contentment in knowing you are becoming exactly what you long to be. 

Neal A Maxwell once said, "God loves us. I'm not sure we can always understand the implications of his love, because his love will call us at times to do things we may wonder about and we may be confronted with circumstances we would rather not face, he will set before us what we need, not always what we like. ....this will require us to accept with our hearts the truth that there is divine design in each of our lives."

You are not a bad mom....even though we live in a failing world, we have not been sent here to fail.