Tuesday, February 28, 2012

The Walk Away

After that lovely post of how special and great children are...
I would like to share with you the secret of how I carry on without eliminating my own offspring, even on our best days. 

This technique can be used (everyday if you are like me) when you find yourself being swallowed up by the kind of day when the kids are loaded with ammo from sunrise to sunset and every waking moment they are machine-gunning the daylights out of every ounce of patience you have.

A day when kids think they have taken control because poor mom is out of control  or a day when kids are pounded back into control......because mom is still out of control.

"Hi, my name is Jenn Collard and yes,
I'm an 'out of control mom'..." 

You know what I mean, those days when life gets the best of you and you just want to just crawl away into a corner, eat anything eatable that is within reach and cry.

Well let me introduce to you....THE WALK AWAY - something I have been doing for years and now that I've mastered it, I pass my teachings on to you. (LUCKY!)

When you find yourself in a moment, when you have been pushed far enough and it takes every ounce of will power you have not to completely explode. Thats when you have to take a deep breath...and simply....walk away.
Lock yourself in a closet, a bathrooms, even a bedroom, whatever you have....take a deep breath, share a sincere prayer with your Father in Heaven, take another deep breath, and if you have children on the other side of the door pounding way, take another 3 or 4,... then open the door. 

Simply stepping away from the situation, even for a minute, will allow you to regain control. Whatever it was that seemed over whelming, you can now re-approach with a clear mind that was given the chance to catch up, you will think more clearly and your reaction will be based off of thought and not unstable-in the moment-emotions.

Your tone will naturally soften and your words will be guided and inspired. I promise you that your children will be accepting to your words...they in turn, will mirror your example as they too attempt to take back control of their emotions.

In our home, when our kids start to argue we often start sing to them "let us all speak kind words to each other".
I'm sure they hate it at times....but what we as parents can't preach..the words of Hymn #232 can....

Let us oft speak kind words to each other
At home or where’er we may be...the tones will be welcome and free.
They’ll gladden the heart that’s repining,
Give courage and hope from above,
And where the dark clouds hide the shining,
Let in the bright sunlight of love....
Let us oft speak kind words to each other;
Kind words are sweet tones of the heart  

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Chlidren are...

The world is full of wonderful things given to us by our Father in Heaven to find joy in. With an array of different personalities and different matter to like, we are entitled to like or dislike as we so desire. So you can like or dislike this post regarding an issue that can be controverisal to some....

I recently attended a world-wide training meeting where Elder Nelson shared that over the past 50 years the birth rate has continuously dropped throughout the world - families are growing increasingly smaller.

Ironically, I have recently taken personal note of this matter, after hearing first hand from the mouths of some married couples who expressed that kids are over rated and having them will slow the accomplishments they want to acheive in this life.

Maybe it shouldn't bother me but its a great heart ache, as a mother, to hear others talk negatively about children, having none of their own, my question to them is...how can you argue something that you have never experienced for yourself, to be intolerable or unpleasant?

Now I'm not saying you should have oodles of kids right now -- for this decission is solely between the couple and their Father in Heaven. We should never judge how many children someone chooses to have and when they begin and end their family.

However, the adversary is forever striving to attack Gods plan of happiness which is the FAMILY.

I feel he will continue to seek ways to prevent these sweet spirits from heaven from entering stable homes where they can feel the love of their savior, grow in the gospel and learn who they are and where they came from. After all - these rightous children will eventually grow to defend and fight for the truth that will ultimately consume his earthly empire.

The desire to become a rightous parent to these marvelous children of God doesn't require that you birth a baby of your own...all that it requires is that you open your home and heart to all children. With a willing heart your home can and will be filled with the sweet spirits heavenly father intended for you to guide and raise here on earth.

I took a couple days and asked men and women alike (moms & dads) to share their thoughts of what they think when they think of their own children.

It brought a smile to my face to hear them making light the idea that kids are wild-crazy and out of control at times. (which can be true :)

But it also brought pure unmistakable joy to hear a them also refer to their children as being....wonderful, smart, the most joy ever, Gods greatest blessing, fun, hilarious, joyful, free-spirited, something that made their life complete, curious, amazing, loving, loyal, unpredictable, persistent, life changing, worthwhile, tender, perfect, their whole world.

Children are a beautiful gift that we can only hope to receive in this life, Family is central to Gods plan of happiness...and that plan is perfect!
This valentines day -- take time to show love to all the children in your life
and recognize what a glorious gift they are and what a blessing it is to have them in our lives.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Its your choice

I have had this post sitting as a draft for over a week now.
The problem is, I know what I want to share...I'm just struggling with best way to say it so that it makes sense to someone besides myself. :)
The inspiration for this post is credited to the numerous situations that I have oddly encountered over the past couple weeks. All of them very similar in circumstance - yet, all of them yielding very different results.
It is essential that we realize this simple fact that we live in a world filled with imperfect people (including ourselves). Words will be said, actions can be misunderstood and mistakes will be made - it's just human nature.
We interact everyday - from the moment we wake up til the time we go to sleep. You can't really avoid it. It occurs in the natural-everyday socialization we have with other people, and not just acquaintances, but with families and friends as well.
There are going to be moments when words can hurt or offend us, actions can annoy or make us angry....but the question we have to ask ourselves is "how am I going to react?"...after all it is our choice.

D&C 37:4 = Let every man choose for himself...

When God gave us agency it wasn't just narrowly thought of to give us the choice of what we want to eat for breakfast, or what church serve we'll attend, or the choice to get up early and exercise or not, or if we'll actually drag the kids back into the store to pay for that one grocery item on the bottom of the cart that was over looked by the cashier.
Its bigger than that -- its an immense right and power that we have been given to be able to CHOOSE in every aspect of our lives.

It is your choice to choose how you will react to situations - you can harbor hurt and resentment...or you can choose to let it go.
Its hard - I know, choices in this life aren't meant to be easy, they are meant to test us. How will we react? What will our choice be?

I hope this post wasn't just a rambling mess of random unlinked thoughts that have been running through my mind this past week...but I hope it will help someone out there to understand that our reactions to situations are our choice.

Let go of grudges - because honestly most of the time the people we are mad at don't even have a clue of the feelings we harbor against them. And there will also be times when we will need an outlet to vent and complain (which is okay) -- your outlet can be through personal prayer.
Friends are good, but no one can match the release you will receive after a good vent session with your Father in Heaven, and in return you will feel his love through the inspiration you receive and it will bring to your life great comfort and resolve.