From time to time...

Our Bishop recently challenged our ward to read the Book of Mormon. There are great life lessons to be found there. For example:
** The Lord told Nephi (1 Nephi 17:8) "thou shalt construct a ship, after the manner which I shall show thee, that I may carry thy people across these waters", Nephi had never built a ship before. He asked the Lord - where am I going to go to find the ore to make tools to build this ship? The Lord showed him where to go, then Nephi built and gathered tools, then proceeded to built a ship. (1 Nephi 18:1) Nephi went on to say "And the Lord did show me from time to time after the manner I should work the timbers of the ship.**
Nephi was faced with a daunting task....and so are we. Raising a family in the world today can seem overwhelming at times. You have basically been asked to "Build a ship" -or- "a home" and just like Nephi there will be people around you that doubt your efforts. No one, no matter who you are, was born with the know-how. The day will come when you will find yourself upon our knees asking the Lord, "what am I'm going to do?? How am I going to do it??" He's just waiting for you to ask for help - he will show you where to gather the tools to complete the task he has given you.
Nephi built a ship water-tight that carried his family to the promise land. We can built a home that is Satan-tight, a shelter, an escape from the world, a safe haven for our kids.
But perhaps the most important lesson to take from this story is when Nephi said, "and the Lord did show me from time to time..." Even Nephi - someone so in tune and so willing - the Lord only instructed from time to time. I think it simply shows his trust in us...after all he knows us better than we know ourselves. 

Earning the Title

I just ended the day officially wearing the title of meanest mom ever...but not for the reasons I hoped. I had an off day - I was cranky, short, snappy, I yelled, grabbed, threatened, yelled some more (why not, right, the days almost over, finish it out strong). I took toys away, grounded kids FOR LIFE...and what did it accomplish? A bunch of broken hearted-crying kids and a mom who was crying right along with them. I sat alone in bed thinking "They didn't deserve what I dished out to them today."
 I know it might sound crazy, but as much as I hate these days and get frustrated with myself for letting things escalate and not having control over my exhausted emotions...I'm thankful for today. Its through these rotten days (that we hope to soon forget) that we grow and mature as a person; as a mom. Its the only way we can recognize what needs to be corrected and changed. What needs improvement and how we can better ourselves.
If I wouldn't have got all riled up over the messy house, piles of dishes, grocery store trips that are difficult and always take longer than expected. If I wouldn't have fussed over the laundry, If I wouldn't have said NO to a daughter who asked to help make dinner (I could prepare it faster on my own). If I would have slowed down and taken the time to comfort and sooth a crying, teething baby. Looking back, I now realize my day was filled with endless "If's". What If I was more patient, What If I was more kind. What If I gave a little more of my time to what mattered most. I need to work to eliminate the - end of day "If's".
After my kids were asleep and I realized I wasn't gaining anything by going to bed without resolving the issue (Even if it was just for myself) I woke each kid, apologized, kissed them goodnight, told them I loved them and tucked them in again...properly this time.
Oddly enough, after that, I felt better.
I can now go to bed knowing this dumb, miserable day, is gone for good!